shmily_christine's Xanga

hello

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:03:21 GMT

alive I am.

my tongue is sand

Mon, 05 May 2008 22:08:01 GMT

Though I'd like to be the girl for him and cross the sea and land for him,
In milky skin my tongue is sand until the iridescent band begins to play,

He's my Brandy Alexander
Always gets me into trouble
But that's another matter
Brandy Alexander
He's my Brandy Alexander
Always gets me into trouble
But that's another matter
Brandy Alexander

Though I know what I love most of him, I'm walking on needles and pins
My addiction to the worst of him
The low moon helps me sing,

I'm his Brandy Alexander
Always get him into trouble
I hide that I am flattered
Brandy Alexander
I'm his Brandy Alexander
Always get him into trouble
I hide that I am flattered
Brandy Alexander

It goes down easy (easy)

Brandy Alexander

St. Patrick's Day... on repeat

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 14:59:36 GMT

This song is about a couple that's putting off a breakup because they don't want to endure going through the winter and the holidays alone. The safest time to breakup is St. Patrick's Day. I'm not dating, but I think this song speaks to the loneliness and quiet desperation of those who strive to find refuge in whatever they can - even if it's in a failing relationship.

"St. Patrick's Day" by John Mayer

Here comes the cold
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own
You - enter you
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue

Who knows what will be
But I'll make you this guarantee

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time

In the dark, on the phone
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favorite colors
I'm learning you
And when it snows again
We'll take a walk outside
And search the sky
Like children do
I'll say to you

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?

And we'll both be safe 'til St. Patrick's Day

We should take a ride tonight around the town
and look around at all the beautiful houses
something in the way that blue lights on a black night
can make you feel more
everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be
just like you and me

No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?

And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday take that away
I'll be alright if it was just 'til St. Patrick's Day

Friday, March 14, 2008

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 01:19:49 GMT

I can hear you in the distance.

"And he came andpreached peace to you who were far off..." Ephesians 2:17

Monday, November 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 01:32:05 GMT

have you ever closed your eyes and felt like you were spinning?

there is so much swirling in my mind...so many uncertainties, so many questions, so many unknowns, so many what ifs?

Monday, November 19, 2007

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:23:14 GMT

"Tune my heart to sing thy grace..."

What is grace?

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 19:15:43 GMT

Even as.... sin blinds me
Even as... I choose to sin

Even as... I lose little battles here and there.

Love chose me.

Love chooses me over and over again.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. ~ Romans 5:8-10

You are grace.

Timing is everything

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 00:30:49 GMT

I remember during freshman year in college my pastor told us there was a reason why certain things weren't revealed and how timing is everything. He made us visualize a roll of toilet paper. In order to get to the core, you first have to pass through all the sheets. There's also an element of adventure and processing as well... for instance, if the core (that one thing) was given to you and revealed to you right now, you might not be ready to receive it.

More and more, I realize how I NEED to go through these times of processing and waiting. My character needs work, certain things need fine-tuning and etc. There's a reason and timing for everything and it's all out of love. God is good.

random

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 03:03:22 GMT

- i cried in class today while watching "the color of fear". has anyone watched that movie before? it's so intense. it documents a dialogue on race among 8 men (2 asian, 2 latino, 2 black and 2 white). if you want to watch this together, let me know. i would love to watch it again.

- i've always had a knack for intensity and depth in conversations.. but i'm learning the value of hanging out, small talk and talking about "nothing". i used to hate small talk and hanging out late at night in groups. why was i always so hungry for depth? i think i thought i was connecting, that i was going to find the answers or something like that... but i realize, it's the small things and the seemingly pointless moments that mean so much more.

- i'm learning that only God's work will remain. "the work of your hands are honorable and glorious". Psalm 111.

- my dad has been transforming through the grace of God. his temper has gone down. his love has grown. it's amazing how God transforms. it took over 20 years. transformation doesn't happen overnight, but when it does happen, it is beautiful. additionally, there is power in prayer and it is worth waiting for that person to change. God will do it bc He is faithful.

- documenting church vs. documenting humanity... i've always been challenged by church media, but it isn't until recently that i'm beginning to realize that it should be about documenting humanity and people. i can no longer approach it as "i'm documenting church". why didn't i realize this earlier?

- singlehood. i am thankful for God's protection. when the time comes, it will come.

- i'm realizing that my perception of people and certain friendships have been false. now that i am older, i have the benefit of seeing things in hindsight...

- my peers are getting old. i see the wrinkles. i see their lives progressing. i wish i could be young forever.. partially because i don't want to deal with reality.

- i'm finding people who are similar to me. i see myself in them. we think alike, we have similar mannerisms, etc. i don't know what to make of this, but it says something about how God created us.

- i'm learning to speak the truth in love. i'm also realizing it's not about being right all the time. that's sort of how i approached my dad in the past with his anger issues. he was always in the wrong w/ his anger and i was always right about his sins. although i might've been right, in the end, we were both losing. being right doesn't win or resolve anything. love conquers all.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 21:00:52 GMT

[picture from getty images]

i love autumn.